LU-14536 o2iblnd: don't resend if there's no listener

LU-14536 o2iblnd: don't resend if there's no listener

If there's no listener at remote peer, we will
get IB_CM_REJ_INVALID_SERVICE_ID, currently we
will try to resend which makes the discovery longer
than necessary when connecting to a node which is
not up.
Use -EHOSTUNREACH instead of -ECONNREFUSED,
so we don't end up queued for resend.

Lustre-change: https://review.whamcloud.com/42109
Lustre-commit: 65e3e4050ec5bb371c1c343fca49a605286a086e

Change-Id: Ifaf14bc3ada2e2469669285917e366af669817e2
Test-Parameters: trivial
Signed-off-by: Li Dongyang <dongyangli@ddn.com>
Reviewed-by: Serguei Smirnov <ssmirnov@whamcloud.com>
Reviewed-by: Chris Horn <chris.horn@hpe.com>
Reviewed-by: Amir Shehata <ashehata@whamcloud.com>
Reviewed-on: https://review.whamcloud.com/44222
Tested-by: jenkins <devops@whamcloud.com>
Tested-by: Maloo <maloo@whamcloud.com>
Reviewed-by: Andreas Dilger <adilger@whamcloud.com>