LU-14536 o2iblnd: don't resend if there's no listener

LU-14536 o2iblnd: don't resend if there's no listener

If there's no listener at remote peer, we will
get IB_CM_REJ_INVALID_SERVICE_ID, currently we
will try to resend which makes the discovery longer
than necessary when connecting to a node which is
not up.
Use -EHOSTUNREACH instead of -ECONNREFUSED,
so we don't end up queued for resend.

Lustre-change: https://review.whamcloud.com/42109
Lustre-commit: 0ab06eb9d865a47ea3e09880a41a9e8f0a78b6a6

Test-Parameters: trivial
Signed-off-by: Li Dongyang <dongyangli@ddn.com>
Change-Id: Ifaf14bc3ada2e2469669285917e366af669817e2
Reviewed-by: Serguei Smirnov <ssmirnov@whamcloud.com>
Reviewed-by: Chris Horn <chris.horn@hpe.com>
Reviewed-by: Amir Shehata <ashehata@whamcloud.com>
Reviewed-on: https://review.whamcloud.com/45895
Tested-by: jenkins <devops@whamcloud.com>
Tested-by: Maloo <maloo@whamcloud.com>
Reviewed-by: Oleg Drokin <green@whamcloud.com>